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Home Relationship

How Trauma Can Affect Your Life

Julie Snearl by Julie Snearl
January 17, 2023
in Relationship
Reading Time: 5 mins read
0
How Trauma Can Affect Your Life

According to Jenna Hennessy, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and professor of medical psychology (in psychiatry) at Columbia University Irving Medical Centre, trauma can have a variety of consequences on people, and those effects can vary from person to person.

If you’ve had a traumatic experience, you may discover that it has altered you in many ways, which may include how you interact with your partner and how you two interact as a couple. In fact, the American Psychological Association recognises that damaged relationships are one of the long-term impacts of trauma. Trauma can alter our behaviour in social situations. It can have an impact on our relationships by changing how we relate to ourselves and others.

A traumatic experience can alter your thoughts about yourself, other people, and the world in general. 4 For instance, you might have believed all your life that people are generally trustworthy. However, if you have had a horrific event when someone has hurt you, you could feel as though you can’t trust anyone or allow them to come close to you.

This will then have an impact on how you interact with other people, including your relationship.

Table of Contents

Toggle
    • 1. Put you on high alert
    • 2. Make you feel numb
  • Managing the Trauma’s Impact on Your Relationship
    • 1. Validate your experiences
    • 2. To stay present, use grounding exercises
  • Helping a Partner Who Has Suffering from Trauma
    • 1. Angry about not being able to stop it
    • 2. Confusion over your partner’s behaviour
    • 3. Sadness for losing particular qualities of your connection
    • 4. Avoid using clichés
    • 5. Think before you act
    • 6. Be compassionate

1. Put you on high alert

Trauma awakens the fear centre in our brain, which induces a state of fight, flight, or freeze to help us survive. However, even after the experience has passed, your brain could continue to be in this hyper alert state. You might discover that you react to anything that your brain considers to be possibly dangerous.

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2. Make you feel numb

Dissociation, the opposite of this increased level of arousal, can make you feel numb or “dead inside.” This is particularly typical in situations involving persistent trauma that cannot be avoided, such long-term child abuse. 5 Our brain assists in our survival by going into a dissociative, detached state to shield us from harm. A person who has gone through trauma may fluctuate between extremes, from hyper arousal to hypo arousal.

Causing avoidance Trauma can make you avoid any settings or events that make you think of the terrible occurrence. This tends to lead you to believe that the only way to feel secure is by making sacrifices, which can have a substantial negative influence on your capacity to operate on a daily basis.

Managing the Trauma’s Impact on Your Relationship

Managing the Trauma Impact

1. Validate your experiences

Validate your experiences by admitting that what you went through was bad and that it makes sense that it is still having an impact on you. Increase self-awareness by taking the time to explain specific ideas, name and label your emotions, and pay attention to your impulses and responses. This will help you become more aware of how your body and mind react to events and stimuli.

2. To stay present, use grounding exercises

You can stay present in the moment by using grounding techniques like breathing exercises, finger tapping, or paying enough attention to your five senses. These methods can be especially beneficial if you have trouble with dissociation or flashbacks.

Co-regulation exercises with a partner: Co-regulation is the process of utilising your partner’s calming presence to feel more grounded and regulated.

Helping a Partner Who Has Suffering from Trauma

Helping a Partner

1. Angry about not being able to stop it

You could feel sad and furious about your inability to stop the incident from happening as well as disappointed that you now have to deal with its effects. Unsure about how to provide assistance: You might be unsure of how to assist and be there for your partner in the “proper” way.

2. Confusion over your partner’s behaviour

In addition, it can be unpleasant and puzzling when your partner changes how they act or interact with you after a traumatic occurrence.

3. Sadness for losing particular qualities of your connection

When someone discovers that the life they have been living is no longer formerly shared with their lover is no longer there. When unsure of how to proceed and start the healing process, it can be beneficial to rely on others.

4. Avoid using clichés

Sayings like “everything occurs for a reason” and “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” should be avoided. Occasionally, terrible things occur out of the blue and leave a person feeling like a broken version of them. Instead of providing consolation, the expectation that they must “be stronger” or “find purpose” in their tragedy can be very invalidating and make them feel like a failure.

5. Think before you act

Prior to reacting to your partner in rage, irritation, or anguish, take some time to calm down and control your emotions.

6. Be compassionate

Your spouse might not be fully in control of how they react to a trauma trigger and might require some time to allow the automatic response to run its course before learning a new way of doing things. Can Cialis enhance mental performance?

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Also read: How Dating a Narcissist Changes You? Everything You Need to Know

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Julie Snearl

Julie Snearl

Editor and writer for over a decade , she has written and edited finance for both national technical and consumer readership, Julia Snearl is the editor for Personal Finance in KashPilot. Her experience in editing business books also includes working as the editor of charts of Ahead of the Curve. More than 3 years' experience in editing content for finance on KashPilot, Julie is interested in learning about how to use digital content to assist people make better financial choices.

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