We all know that we should drink two litres (or eight glasses) of water per day. Experts will tell you that water will clear your skin, help you lose weight, and improve your focus. It offers the kind of benefits that those shakes advertised on Instagram promise, but without the £28.99 per month price tag. Of course, to drink throughout the day, it helps to have a work water bottle that you can fill up at the start of the day and sip from until the evening. Especially if you’re wary of using the communal mugs in the work kitchen cupboard because you don’t know how clean they are.
Now, as with everything from your coat to your car to your phone case, your water bottle says something about you. What do you say? Read on to find out.
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Disposable plastic bottle
You hate the environment and enjoy paying 133% more for your water than if you just got it out of the tap. We’re joking, don’t worry. We’ve all been in that position where we forgot our work water bottle or drank it all when we were out and needed a refill. However, there’s no getting around the fact that buying water in those disposable plastic bottles is bad for the planet, your wallet, and possibly even your health.
If your go-to water bottle is a disposable one, maybe pick another one from the options below. You’ll save money, save some sea creatures, and won’t risk chemicals leaching into your water. Best of all, you won’t get judged by people behind you in the queue.
(For CEOs reading this, you could always order some branded water bottles for your employees. It’ll stop them from losing concentration when they get dehydrated, but it’ll also act as an advert for your company when they’re out and about.)
1. Sports Bottle
You’re probably one of those people who always wants to humblebrag about your 15k morning run when your co-workers roll into work chugging their third coffee. Okay, Dan. That’s super cool, but it’s still only 8 am…
We’re impressed by your drive to get up before the sun does and we’re still going to chip in when you’re running a marathon for charity. However, we’re definitely not getting up at 5 am to run with you. We actually don’t believe it when you say that exercise is a natural high.
2. Reusable Plastic Bottle
You like to follow trends and want to show off your various interests with your work water bottle. Sometimes you even grab a plain bottle and put stickers on it to personalise it. However, if you do happen to have more than three in your cupboard, think about whether you actually need the next one you see with a FRIENDS quote.
3. Mason Jar
You’re either really into the hipster lifestyle or you got married in 2014 and have about 1000 of these clogging up your cupboards. (You know you can sell or donate them, right?)
However you came to be using a mason jar as a water bottle, it seems impractical, especially if you’re taking it to work. Do you never trip when running for the bus? Have you never knocked something off your desk, while trying to find the right paperwork? Is this power how you can stay balanced on the penny-farthing bicycles?
We admire your commitment to aesthetics over practicality, unless you are as clumsy as the rest of us. In that case, you’re getting a metal water bottle in Secret Santa this year.
You start each day with a protein shake and a two-hour session at the gym, posting selfies of you lifting free weights, and tell everyone that it’s leg day. (Hey, you should talk to Dan in IT. You’d really get on.)
However, with all the reps you do and the weight you lift, why can’t you carry a separate work water bottle? After all, how clean can you get your bottle in the changing room sinks at the gym? Scratch that, how clean are the sinks in the changing room at your gym?
Please, just get a second bottle, so the rest of us aren’t grossed out by the bits of shake floating around in your water.
4. Stainless Steel Bottle
You’re a little bit high-maintenance, which is why you need the ability to keep your water cold for up to 24 hours, even though the double-walled technology means it can’t go through the dishwasher. Seriously, why do you need to keep water cold for an entire day?
Also, you like people to think of you as an environmentalist, but you really just bought the same bottle that sustainability influencers were posting about on social media because it was pretty. Even though your nan gave you a perfectly good water bottle and thermos set when you went to uni. (We can make fun of ourselves too.)
5. Vodka Bottle
You’re hopefully doing a TikTok challenge to see how people react to you drinking alcohol at work. We’d ask what it’s like to be young, but we’re afraid to end up in your next video where you ask people over 25 if they know what Gen Z slang means. Hopefully, your boss has a sense of humour. Also, be careful not to get pulled over if you’re driving into work.
We’ve had a lot of fun here, but remember that it doesn’t matter what bottle you use, as long as you’re getting those two litres a day.
Also read: What are Disposable Food Containers Made of?
