It can be tough being a parent of a teenager. They are going through so many changes – physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s hard to know what to do to help them navigate these changes successfully. That’s why we spoke with a psychologist who specializes in teen development to get some practical advice for parents. In this blog post, you will find out what you need to know about parenting your teenager, including tips on how to have effective conversations, how to set boundaries, and more!
Psychologist Advice for Parents of Teenagers
Interest and help. Parental support generates a trusting relationship between children and parents and entails high self-esteem for adolescents, promoting academic success and moral development. Insufficient parental support, on the contrary, can lead to low self-esteem in the child, poor learning, impulsive actions, poor social adaptation, and unstable and antisocial behavior.
Parents’ ability to listen, understand and empathize. Inability to listen to a teenager’s problems, wearing down their self-esteem, and being emotionally unavailable are some of the main reasons why teenagers rebel. On the other hand, when parents show they understand and empathize with their children, it strengthens the parent-child bond and helps teens feel supported.
Parental love and positive emotions in family relationships are associated with closeness, affection, love, and receptivity; family members in this case feel respected and appreciated. A lack of love, on the contrary, can lead to tension and conflict in the family, which will inevitably have a negative impact on the teenager’s development and future.
Trust in the child. Distrust in children is usually an indication that parents project their own fears, anxieties, and insecurities onto their children. This can have a negative impact on the child’s self-esteem and development.
Respect for the child as an individual. Parents should remember that their teenagers are individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Respecting them as such will help foster a healthy parent-child relationship and promote the teenager’s self-esteem and development.
Involvement in the child’s life. Parents should be involved in their teenager’s life, but not to the point of overprotection or helicopter parenting. They should strike a balance between giving their children the space to grow and develop independently and being there for them when they need support.
Take an interest in who your child interacts with. Don’t forget that it’s not only important for you to get along with your teen, but also for his or her safety. There are some good parental control apps that show you how to track calls and texts from another phone, to prevent danger to your teenager. These apps can also help you take an active interest in your child’s social life and be aware of who he or she hangs out with.
A Conversation with a Teenager in an Adult Language
Parents often encounter the problem that in adolescence children become more withdrawn and uncontrollable, and deliberately provoke them. The change in the behavior of the child is due to the fact that he wants to separate from his parents and become an independent personality. That is why it becomes more difficult for parents to communicate with their teenagers.
In order to have an effective conversation with your teenager, you need to use adult language. This means using words that your child will understand and be able to respond to. It is also important to avoid using words that are loaded with emotion, such as ” always ” or ” never “.
Some tips for using adult language when communicating with your teenager include:
- Use open-ended questions. This will encourage your child to share his or her thoughts and feelings with you.
- Use “I” statements. This will help you to express your own thoughts and feelings without sounding judgmental or critical.
- Avoid using absolutes. For example, instead of saying “you always make me angry”, try saying “I get frustrated when I feel like I can’t communicate with you”.
- Be patient. Allow your teenager time to process what you’re saying and to respond.
Recommendations for Parents
Certainly, everything depends on a concrete situation and the method of influence on the teenager should be chosen individually. We suggest several variants:
- Create a non-standard situation where the teenager expects your resistance, and distrust, and in return receives sincerity and help in solving his issues.
- Support one of the teenager’s hobbies, and show interest in hobbies and hobbies.
- Establish a family tradition where the family gets together in the evening and shares the events that happened to each of them during the day.
Tips for Parents
- Appreciate your children’s frankness, and take a genuine interest in their problems.
- Communicate on an equal footing, the tone of an order will not work in your favor.
- Let them know that you understand them. You shouldn’t make fun of them, but try to see things from their perspective.
- Encourage them to be active and have hobbies that will help them stay away from negative influences.
- Make sure they know that you’re always there for them when they need you.
- Help them find a balance between spending time with friends and family, school or work, and leisure activities.
- Teach them how to handle their emotions so they don’t explode at the people they love or take their frustrations out on themselves.
- Most importantly, show them your unconditional love and support!
Parents of Teenagers Should Know That
The following characterological reactions are characteristic of adolescents:
- The reaction of emancipation is manifested in the desire to free oneself from the tutelage, to be like adults.
- The reaction of self-affirmation is manifested in the striving to show oneself, one’s abilities and talents.
- The reaction of auto aggression is the manifestation of aggressiveness towards oneself, for example, in the form of self-harm or anorexia nervosa.
- The reaction of narcissism is inflated self-esteem, the feeling of one’s own uniqueness.
- The reaction of negativism is a change in values, and interests, it can manifest itself in antisocial behavior.
- The psychosexual reaction is the manifestation of sexuality, which manifests itself in various ways depending on the type of reaction.
- The reaction of social anxiety is the fear of communication, it is often caused by shyness and a low level of self-esteem.
Conclusion
As you can see, parenting a teenager is not an easy task. But if you use the tips from this article, you will be able to communicate with your teenager more effectively and help them through this challenging time in their lives. Thanks for reading!
We hope you found this article helpful. If you have any questions or would like to share your own experiences, please leave a comment below. We wish you all the best!
Also read: What is The Real Cost of Adoption?