If you are wondering whether you are selfish or not and constantly questioning yourself, “am I selfish?” then this article is apt for you. Needless to say, getting hit with an accusation of selfishness can indeed leave you in an awful situation. In fact, you might start doubting if you are a good friend or wonder if you would even recognize your own selfish actions.
So if you are looking for the answer, “am I selfish?” you can take a look at this article as we will discuss some of the relevant details here. We will help you figure out how you can know if you are really being selfish or not. Well, one of the things you can do is check your behaviors and motivations. At the same time, it is essential that you know the difference between assertiveness and selfishness.
Now let us look into all these details in the article down below. Stay tuned to us until the end as we will share some of the interesting aspects about whether you are selfish or not. Let us take a quick glance!
Table of Contents
- How Can You Spot Selfish Behaviours?
- Look At The Expectations You Place On Others
- Analyze What Others Say About Your Behavior
- Ask Yourself If You Are Constantly Asking Others For Favors
- Determine If You Can Keep Your Promises
- Notice If You Tend To Punish People When You Don’t Get Your Way
- Reflect Back On Your Conversations
- Analyze How Considerate You Are
- Question Your True Intentions
- Check If You Put Your Own Needs And Wants Ahead Of Others
- Ending Note
How Can You Spot Selfish Behaviours?
This is one of the questions that you might ask yourself or your friends. Well, this is what we will be discussing in this section. You will get several answers to your question, “am I selfish?” let us find ways to help you spot selfish behaviors.
Look At The Expectations You Place On Others
This is one of the things you can do to figure out whether you are behaving selfishly or not. So firstly think about how you behave with others in your life. Do not expect that you would dominate the conversation or decide what everyone else should be doing in a family, work, or social situation. However, if you have an idea or opinion, you can expect others to agree with you.
Analyze What Others Say About Your Behavior
As you know it is easy to dismiss other people’s complaints and criticisms. In fact, a pattern of similar comments might be worth taking seriously. Moreover, a lot of people in your life can tell you that you are behaving selfishly. So in such cases, consider if you can rectify the situation in some way or another. Ask yourself why people are calling you selfish and try to sort out things.
Ask Yourself If You Are Constantly Asking Others For Favors
Are you always thinking about what others can do for you? Well, then you might appear to be selfish. Especially if you do not go out of your way to return those favors later. Needless to say, healthy relationships have an equal balance of give and take. For instance, if you frequently ask for favors from people, like loans, or covering your shifts, but you don’t return those things when they are in need, you might be selfish.
Determine If You Can Keep Your Promises
This is one of the important aspects that you need to ascertain if you are to determine whether you are selfish or not. Do you take commitments seriously or do you not feel like following them through till the end?
Well, if you break promises just because it is a hassle for you to keep, you are acting selfish. For instance, if you have promised to pick someone up from work, it would be selfish to bail on him last minute to go out with your friends. It will indeed make you look selfish in front of the other person.
Notice If You Tend To Punish People When You Don’t Get Your Way
One of the essential aspects that you need to analyze about yourself is this. You need to question yourself regarding how you react when things don’t go your way. Do you react by getting huffy, withdrawing, or trying to get even? Behaving this way will show that you don’t care about other people’s preferences or needs. This can be a major sign of selfishness.
For instance, giving your partner the silent treatment when they ask you to do something different around the house. It is one kind of punishing behavior that you should avoid.
Reflect Back On Your Conversations
If you are wondering whether you are behaving selfishly with others or not, this is one of the ways through which you can ascertain. If most of your sentences start with “I” it’s probably a sign that you have a self-centered worldview. So make sure you reflect back on your conversations to analyze this aspect entirely.
Analyze How Considerate You Are
Ask yourself the question as to how important other people’s feelings and comfort are to you. Also, try to analyze if you want to make others happy and if you really care about them. If you really do care about people then you have nothing to worry about, however, if your answer is no, then, you need to check your ideals.
For instance, running late constantly and not picking up after yourself, borrowing people’s things without giving them back. At times, changing your plans without letting others know is a few examples of inconsiderate behavior.
Question Your True Intentions
One of the questions you can ask yourself is whether you really want to help people or just look good in front of others. Now ask yourself how you feel when you do a good deed. Also, ask yourself how your actions might help someone else. Well, the second mindset is a clear indicator of selfishness where you just want to look good in front of others. So in this way you can gauge your true intentions.
Check If You Put Your Own Needs And Wants Ahead Of Others
Question yourself if you are constantly focused on what you want. Well, if your answer is Yes, you might be selfish. On the other hand, if you are genuinely concerned with how others feel and what they need, you are not acting in a selfish way.
For instance, you might expect others to help you when you are in a trouble. However, you need to extend the same kind of help to the same person who helped you out in your difficult situation. If you do not do so, you will probably act selfishly in those situations. So try to check if you are putting your own needs and wants before others.
So as we conclude, we can say that acting selfish might sometimes happen unknowingly. Certain situations might make you act selfishly and think only about your own good. However, you must keep a check on your behavior. This will help you to determine if you are behaving way too selfishly with your friends and family members.