Since he died in 1994, Kurt Cobain’s suicide letter has inspired conspiracy theories. Read the entire thing here and determine what happened to Nirvana’s frontman. In April 1994, Kurt Cobain committed himself by a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the brain with a six-pound Remington 20 gauge shotgun. Depressed and high on heroin, the singer barricaded himself in his Seattle, Washington home’s greenhouse – shot up, and shot himself, surrounded by sunglasses, the cigar box he used to conceal his stash, his token American Spirit cigarettes, and, of course, one of the most combed over suicide notes in music history.
Some believe Kurt Cobain’s suicide letter was an incomplete draft intended for his band – a type of breakup message signaling the end of Nirvana and a new course for his music career. He had already discussed collaboration with R.E.M.’s Michael Stipe and appeared dissatisfied with his grunge reputation. Fans of that hypothesis are likely to assume that Courtney Love, Kurt Cobain’s wife, fabricated the second half of his suicide note. Cobain had regularly suggested divorce during his final year alive, as the couple’s relationship was deteriorating due to addiction and celebrity pressures.
With such theories in mind, was it feasible for Kurt Cobain to be murdered? Perhaps it’s time to examine the suicide note for ourselves.
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A month before his death was discovered in his Seattle garden, Cobain overdosed on champagne and Rohypnol in a hotel room in Rome. He took 50 tablets and left a letter behind. His management team first characterized the occurrence as an accident, but authorities ultimately found it an attempted suicide, which Cobain rejected.
“A note was discovered,” stated Courtney Love’s manager Janet Billig at the time, “although Kurt insisted that it was not a suicide note.” He merely took all of his and Courtney’s money and planned to flee and vanish.”
It’s uncertain if this was the identical note discovered at the scene of his suicide. Regardless, at the time of the previous attempt, Love made it clear that her husband was not leaving.
“He’s not going to get away from me quickly,” she predicted. “I’ll go through hell with him.”
Kurt told the staff he was going outdoors for a cigarette at a California recovery clinic after a few days. He climbed the six-foot brick wall and flew back to Seattle before his wife canceled his credit cards. Love contacted private detective Tom Grant to track after her husband, while Cobain’s mother, Wendy O’Connor, filed a missing person report. Despite his house being searched, no one bothered to go inside his garage or the greenhouse above it.
It’s unclear what transpired between April 4 and April 5. Still, Kurt Cobain most likely put a stool against the greenhouse’s French doors and stayed inside, using drugs, maybe composing or finishing the iconic message, and eventually shooting himself.
He wrote Cobain’s message to his boyhood imaginary buddy Boddah. He wrote the letter in crimson ink and stabbed the pen he likely used through the middle of the paper inside the greenhouse in a flower box. Several words have been crossed out, and the handwriting appears to get more hurried and unpredictable towards the second part.
According to Charles R. Cross’ authoritative biography of Kurt Cobain, Heavier Than Heaven, Boddah became one of a young Cobain’s symbols of the sanctuary. Cobain must have sought serenity in Boddah after his parent’s divorce and the collapse of his family as he knew it.
The fact that Cobain opted to write this message to Boddah might indicate that the singer thought no one else in his real life understood him. It might also imply that nobody reported the memo since who else would be privy to such an emotional component of Kurt Cobain’s childhood?
“As he wrote, the lighting from MTV provided the majority of the light because the sun was still rising,” Cross suggested in his book. “He had filled all but two inches of the sheet when he laid the pen down.” The message had taken three cigarettes to write.” “It was becoming brighter outside, and he needed to act before the rest of the world woke up,” Cross continued.
According to Cross, Cobain added the last few words of his message moments before he shot himself, which would explain their sloppiness. This is speculative.
Cobain took half of his final Mexican black tar heroin (approximately $50 worth) and injected himself exactly above his “K” tattoo after smoking his last cigarette and loading the shotgun. Finally, before it was too late, he pressed the barrel to the roof of his mouth.
The singer’s disturbing suicide and death scene sparked the interest of conspiracy theorists. Some of his followers even speculated openly on whether or not his wife murdered him.
Soaked In Bleach, a 2015 documentary, gives a dark alternative to the official story of Cobain’s suicide. The film follows his final days as told primarily by Tom Grant, the private investigator hired by Love to find him. Despite sending the film’s creators a cease and desist letter, Love has yet to initiate a lawsuit. Conspiracy theorists take advantage of this choice. They see it as a sensible decision on her part to avoid disclosing any lurid information regarding Cobain’s death under oath.
“Courtney Love’s misinformed claims and attempts to undermine the film are completely unfounded,” the producers claimed. “Courtney Love and her attorneys don’t like that the video makes a persuasive argument for reopening the inquiry into Kurt’s death.”
Rosemary Carroll, Cobain’s former lawyer, is likewise sure that Cobain’s death is a hoax. She believes Cobain’s suicide letter was fabricated, according to The Sun. “I don’t believe he wrote it,” she stated. “I felt the same way when I read it. He did not pen it.”
She never commented on this point, but it’s worth noting that one of the few individuals who have extensive knowledge of Cobain’s money and legal issues feels so passionately about it.
In 1998, Tom Grant was the subject of a similar documentary, Kurt & Courtney, in which he said Love merely asked him to investigate so she wouldn’t be considered a suspect. He argues that Cobain was murdered as part of a Love-led conspiracy, and that we should reopen the case. El Duce, a punk musician, also appears in the documentary and discusses the couple’s drug use. El Duce says that Love offered him $50,000 to assassinate Cobain. He claimed to know who finally murdered Cobain but vowed to “let the FBI arrest him.”
El Duce was murdered by a train two days after that interview. Supporters of this hypothesis claim that Love composed portions of Kurt Cobain’s suicide letter, with the first paragraphs as a break-up letter to Cobain’s bandmates.
Meanwhile, forensic linguist Carole Chaski is skeptical of the scheme. Her “results do not support the conspiracy notion that Courtney Love created the bottom half to make it appear like a suicide note,” she told the House Of Mystery Radio Show.
On the other hand, she had classified the note as a legitimate suicide letter using computer software called SNARE (Suicide Note Assessment Review), which may not be a compelling approach in and of itself.
Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl told Far Out Magazine that his friend’s death was “perhaps the worst thing that has happened to me in my life.”
“I remember waking up the next day and being sad that he was gone,” Grohl recalled. “I simply thought, ‘OK, so I get to get up today and enjoy another day, but he doesn’t.'”
Thousands of admirers shared his sentiments and turned out for his public vigil in Seattle, where Love read Kurt Cobain’s suicide note to his loving followers. The now-famous lines, such as “it’s better to burn out than fade away,” which was inspired by Neil Young, and “I have a daughter who reminds me too much of myself,” were challenging to hear.
When her father died, Frances Bean Cobain was just two years old. She has had her share of drug usage, navigating a little semblance of celebrity, and living beneath her father’s shadow throughout the previous few decades.
According to NME, she’s become a vocal advocate of anybody dealing with addiction or personal issues, engaging with them on social media and spreading compassion. More importantly, her repeated usage of “peace, love, empathy” is intimately related to her father’s final words in his terrible suicide note.
“I want to reclaim peace, love, and empathy as something meant for health and compassion and real peace, love, and empathy,” she stated. “Yeah, the connection comes from a dark place.” Referencing that is a little messed up, but regaining control is my coping method.”
While the conspiracy ideas are intriguing, they don’t change the fact that Kurt Cobain died, either by his hand or by someone else’s. At the very least, his long history of despair, drug use, and a personal suicide note left nearby constitute a strong case for suicide.